I want a baby.
I’d like to conceive a child and feel excited about bringing them into the world. I’d like to be a able to stare at someone who looks like me or my partner and envision a life worth living in a world that gives those who are determined and who work hard a shot. But I can’t. I’m infertile.
My inability to conceive does not come from a doctor’s diagnosis. It does not come from an ailing body or lack of attracting a potential co-parent. My infertility is birthed from the death of my future. I cannot have a child simply because I cannot afford to have one. How can something so innately natural be about economical growth? What does my need to be called ‘mama’ have to do with your failing economic policies? When did South Africa become a 0 child bearing policy country? Because that is what it is to a woman like me who at 30 is still struggling to make ends meet for herself and NOT from lack of trying, and trying…and trying again. Your government is equivalent to a diaphragm. Inserted into me by the nothingness that is promised by those whom you appoint to make decisions for you and AT us, at large.
The struggle continues. Except now, for me, its evolved into a neat little pill that I take without taking every morning, ensuring that I never be someone’s mommy.
Mr President, I want a baby!